Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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