I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
