Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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