Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
