we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
