First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
