I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
