i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
