WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
