i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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