I bet he comes in French.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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