whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
