I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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