so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just made out with a guy for $7.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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