I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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