Do vagina's smell?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
