Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
