So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
