I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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