Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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