Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
