i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
