I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
