Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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