just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
