right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
