we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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