is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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