At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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