That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
