Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
