I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
