How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
