i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
