Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
