My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
