apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
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