It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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