she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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