the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
