I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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