Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
