never play flip cup with pint glasses
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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