worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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