god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
