Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
