I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
