you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
