i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
