I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
