Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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