Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
