You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
