Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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