M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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