3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I can't turn off my feet"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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