First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Boobs speak an international language.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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